My Mom

My Mom has the same text message alert as me, it alerts her quite a bit more often than my phone does. She just started texting in 2009 and she’s old. Who the hell is texting her? and why the hell am I not receiving more sexts?

My Mom has a Facebook, I accepted her friend request and she promised she wouldn’t look at my pictures. The next thing I know she’s commenting on them and telling everyone in our large extended family that they should join. I really don’t want her cousin in LA privy to my drinking habits, but that seems to be the road we’re going down. Speaking of which I should go untag myself in like every picture since I moved home, at the very least New Year’s.

 My Mom has been sick since before Thanksgiving. I came home today and she said she has a sore throat. She has self-diagnosed full body Candida. I mean I self diagnose with the best of them, I’ve had cholera, cat scratch fever, endometriosis, and skin cancer but unlike my Mom my symptoms discontinue and I’m not trying to cure them with colonics. She loves a natural “cure.” I only hope enough H2O2 inhalation can solve this two-month cold.

Life at home never proves dull, but that could be because I am rarely home. One month down living at home. I have an interview on Monday, I have been cast in the dance ensemble of a local play and according to my Mom I constantly smell of booze. It could be said I am living the dream, It’s just not my dream.