Midnight Snacking

11:00pm Just got home, 3-5 beers deep, interview tomorrow 10:30am.

F-ing starving, really should have stopped at Jack in the Box or maybe I should have eaten today instead of sleeping and watching that Millionaire Matchmaker marathon. Anyway, there is nothing to eat here. I mean the fridge is full of vegetables and stuff but who wants that when they are craving deep friend tacos, yeah not me. After completing my rounds of the late night internets and listening to a  Dolby Surround Sound quality snore/sleep talking fest,  (my parents really have quite the orchestration happening at night) I remember my dad was eating Ritz crackers all day as he came in and out of my room to see what I was doing. Who I was talking to? Where was I last night? How many drinks did I have? What kind of drinks were they? What am I going to do later? Did I want the cat in here? Etc, ad nauseam. Also, yes the novelty of how cool my parents are has worn off in this brief month. Like I was saying, these Ritz crackers, I’m thinking they would go really well with the rest of the cranberry goat cheese I ate yesterday left over from some Christmas gift basket. I go into the kitchen, no delightfully buttery Ritz to be found, just one crumbly peanut butter cookie that has obviously been carried about in a shirt front pocket. My Dad can often be found with some kind of sweet treat in his front shirt pocket. I eat some crumbles of this, not very good, I have grown to despise peanut butter cookies as they are his favorite. I remember I have some Kale salad from when I went to Whole Foods and was trying to pretend I was healthy in front of some old friends. Kale salad it is then, not exactly fried tacos but it will have to do. My mom walks into the kitchen barely out of her sleep talking stupor, “Where’s the Ritz?” I ask. She looks at me as if I am not her only child, “Ha, your dad ate all of those, here’s some other crackers.” Let me tell you, stale water crackers and kale salad do not a semi-drunk midnight meal make.